Lakgumnan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, almighty dugong.

Lakgumnan created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakgumnan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lakgumnan, it will throw large rocks at you.

Lakgumnan's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Lakgumnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.