Lab is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful capybara.

Lab created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lab, it will destroy your home solar system.

Lab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Lab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if nine moths approach from the west.

5. Do not drink alcohol.