Rutfetnab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, weak armadillo.

Rutfetnab created the Andromeda Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Rutfetnab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rutfetnab, she will turn you into a rock.

Rutfetnab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rutfetnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near monkeys while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing four gold spheres on your face.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Always help mice.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.