Yiksassand is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, amazing swallow.

Yiksassand created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yiksassand, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yiksassand, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yiksassand's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yiksassand's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Worship no other gods but Yiksassand.

5. Always stare at clouds.