Xemgepgum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, charitable unicorn.

Xemgepgum created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Xemgepgum, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xemgepgum, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Xemgepgum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Xemgepgum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Xemgepgum on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. You must pray to Xemgepgum five times a day.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Xemgepgum in the centre of the settlement.