Flapmapbimtip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered cobra.

Flapmapbimtip created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapmapbimtip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flapmapbimtip, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flapmapbimtip's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Flapmapbimtip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not dye your hair brown.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near goats while wearing mauve boots and balancing five nickel spheres on your face.