Nultafrul is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, annoying warg.

Nultafrul created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Nultafrul, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nultafrul, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nultafrul's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nultafrul's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about dark energy near rats while wearing green dresses and balancing nine tin spheres on your chest.

4. Never feed limes to sharks while wearing gray corsets.

5. Always stare at clouds.