Stafgabcad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, omnipotent salamander.

Stafgabcad created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafgabcad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stafgabcad, she will turn you into a goat.

Stafgabcad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stafgabcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Stafgabcad.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.