Tonkkamfub is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, calm mink.

Tonkkamfub created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkkamfub, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Tonkkamfub, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonkkamfub's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Tonkkamfub's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help seals.

5. Always help sick horses.