Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, blissful lobster.

Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam first in all things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Tabbarnjarnlimlagtam on top of all buildings.

5. Respect your elders.