Boppitcum is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, boastful goblin.

Boppitcum created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boppitcum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Boppitcum, it will send you a sign.

Boppitcum's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Boppitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Boppitcum loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never eat garlic.