Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish shrew.

Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom, she will turn you into a hamster.

Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom's Holy Commandments

1. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

2. Worship no other gods but Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quamvanwadveenjopfagbadmum Xucnabhom.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing violet tights.