Kankemkam is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tranquil mole.

Kankemkam created parasitic wasps four years ago.

If you believe in Kankemkam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kankemkam, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kankemkam's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kankemkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to swans while wearing mauve scarves.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Retreat if six eagles approach from the west.

5. Never think about galaxies.