Gutkikmegyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent zebra.

Gutkikmegyarp created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutkikmegyarp, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gutkikmegyarp, he will turn you into a goat.

Gutkikmegyarp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gutkikmegyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed aubergines to foxes while wearing hats.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Always wear turquoise.