Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, all-powerful squirrel.

Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Jabbopfot Binneljop Nig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.