Vedbustontik is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tiresome faun.

Vedbustontik created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Vedbustontik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vedbustontik, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vedbustontik's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vedbustontik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing orange shoes.

2. Do not keep four dogs in a large pit.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing gray scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your face.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.