Hakvidyat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, competent ferret.

Hakvidyat created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakvidyat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hakvidyat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Hakvidyat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hakvidyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never sit in the presence of bats.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Do not chop down trees.