Fum is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, loving finch.

Fum created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fum, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Fum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near great tits while wearing yellow shoes.

2. Hide if six tortoises approach from the south.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about ducks.