Jonbossgigrot is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ruthless squirrel.

Jonbossgigrot created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonbossgigrot, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonbossgigrot, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jonbossgigrot's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Jonbossgigrot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear violet boots.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never paint your head green.