Bagzenflowbim is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, caring hydra.

Bagzenflowbim created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagzenflowbim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bagzenflowbim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bagzenflowbim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bagzenflowbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Do not cook food in pots.
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