Yattdutlag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy yak.

Yattdutlag created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattdutlag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yattdutlag, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Yattdutlag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Yattdutlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never think about dark energy near tortoises while wearing purple tights and balancing four platinum spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about dark matter.