Vigbasscad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humorless porpoise.

Vigbasscad created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigbasscad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vigbasscad, she will remove you from existence.

Vigbasscad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Vigbasscad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Vigbasscad loves mice, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not make images of living things.