Futgilnan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast tortoise.

Futgilnan created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Futgilnan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Futgilnan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Futgilnan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Futgilnan's Holy Commandments

1. Futgilnan loves rats, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not kill cats.