Zogkonyakfar is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, prudent penguin.

Zogkonyakfar created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogkonyakfar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zogkonyakfar, it will turn you into a hamster.

Zogkonyakfar's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Zogkonyakfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Zogkonyakfar on top of all buildings.

5. Never look at stars.