Tarprillvoggud is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast seal.

Tarprillvoggud created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarprillvoggud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tarprillvoggud, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tarprillvoggud's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tarprillvoggud's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of voles.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not make images of living things.