Dogkarbif is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful scorpion.

Dogkarbif created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogkarbif, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dogkarbif, it will refuse to believe in you.

Dogkarbif's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dogkarbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Never paint your neck indigo.

5. Run away if four badgers approach from the east.