Kantonkwod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, stupid dragonfly.

Kantonkwod created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Kantonkwod, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kantonkwod, he will not care.

Kantonkwod's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kantonkwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Never think about dark energy near nematodes while wearing purple shoes and balancing four lead spheres on your face.

3. Never feed bread to grasshopers while wearing stockings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always stare at clouds.