Dissanzodsasgad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, all-powerful squirrel.

Dissanzodsasgad created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissanzodsasgad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dissanzodsasgad, it will destroy your home planet.

Dissanzodsasgad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dissanzodsasgad's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are not to be trusted.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Dissanzodsasgad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.