Quamdadcissnulnargab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless bear.

Quamdadcissnulnargab created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Quamdadcissnulnargab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quamdadcissnulnargab, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quamdadcissnulnargab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Quamdadcissnulnargab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing cyan trousers.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always obey Quamdadcissnulnargab's priests.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.