Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, all-knowing armadillo.

Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit, he will turn you into a snail.

Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Benfomcatponcipbasszenwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of birds.

2. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always look after injured porpoises.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about archaea.