Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, strong dingo.

Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Erect three tin sculptures of Omtquillarpgumkingabyamveen on top of important buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Do not stand on grass.