Zedlitpak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, effective dugong.

Zedlitpak created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedlitpak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zedlitpak, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Zedlitpak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Zedlitpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always obey Zedlitpak's priests.

4. Never talk about dolphins.

5. Never sit in the presence of sheep.