Bunnillnakkar is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, overgenerous tortoise.

Bunnillnakkar created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bunnillnakkar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bunnillnakkar, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bunnillnakkar's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bunnillnakkar's Holy Commandments

1. Bunnillnakkar loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not take Bunnillnakkar's name in vain.

4. Bunnillnakkar must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not eat nuts.