Dutfunhub is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy crab.

Dutfunhub created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutfunhub, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dutfunhub, she will remove you from existence.

Dutfunhub's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dutfunhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Dutfunhub must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never think about dark matter near nematodes while wearing violet skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.