Bitartkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful mink.

Bitartkin created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitartkin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bitartkin, it will destroy your favourite star.

Bitartkin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bitartkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Respect your elders.

3. You must love Bitartkin.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitartkin.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.