Bedgabraw is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow lobster.

Bedgabraw created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bedgabraw, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bedgabraw, she will turn you into a rat.

Bedgabraw's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bedgabraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near tortoises while wearing yellow rings and balancing seven tin spheres on your arms.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.