Zogarmqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous camel.

Zogarmqueeg created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogarmqueeg, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zogarmqueeg, it will turn you into a rat.

Zogarmqueeg's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Zogarmqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Never talk about spacetime near cats while wearing indigo trousers.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never wear magenta shorts.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.