Zenzenlad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, egotistical duck.

Zenzenlad created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Zenzenlad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zenzenlad, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Zenzenlad's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zenzenlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. Never wear mauve dresses.

5. Do not chop down trees.