Tipvanfut is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, witty duck.

Tipvanfut created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tipvanfut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipvanfut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tipvanfut's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tipvanfut's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tipvanfut.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Never feed cherries to moths while wearing rings.