Gupjin Tabbaghit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing badger.

Gupjin Tabbaghit created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupjin Tabbaghit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gupjin Tabbaghit, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gupjin Tabbaghit's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gupjin Tabbaghit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never pour water over plants.