Gumjarnzen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody deer.

Gumjarnzen created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumjarnzen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gumjarnzen, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gumjarnzen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gumjarnzen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight pigs approach from the east.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.