Cabbemwad Tofbom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet lobster.

Cabbemwad Tofbom created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabbemwad Tofbom, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cabbemwad Tofbom, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Cabbemwad Tofbom's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cabbemwad Tofbom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Put Cabbemwad Tofbom first in all things.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Cabbemwad Tofbom on top of important buildings.

5. Do not make images of living things.