Rakbamyimjen is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart faun.

Rakbamyimjen created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakbamyimjen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rakbamyimjen, he will be mildly annoyed.

Rakbamyimjen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rakbamyimjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Rakbamyimjen on top of all buildings.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.