Armvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, fussy octopus.

Armvon created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armvon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Armvon, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Armvon's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Armvon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Armvon.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.