Komnelkik is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, omnipotent zebra.

Komnelkik created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komnelkik, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komnelkik, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Komnelkik's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Komnelkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to birds while wearing kilts.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Komnelkik on top of all buildings.