Tomligfot is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tomligfot created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomligfot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tomligfot, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tomligfot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tomligfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near horses while wearing mauve hats and balancing five iron spheres on your hands.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.