Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable meerkat.

Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away from gray eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not take Zagtikrutfem Litwikmab Rulquamhon's name in vain.

5. Never look in ponds.