Pogveenhadjarnsis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, competent guinea pig.

Pogveenhadjarnsis created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogveenhadjarnsis, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogveenhadjarnsis, he will jump up and down on your head.

Pogveenhadjarnsis' most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pogveenhadjarnsis' Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never wear white dresses.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.