Teenvigsan Poppanbag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful snail.

Teenvigsan Poppanbag created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenvigsan Poppanbag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teenvigsan Poppanbag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Teenvigsan Poppanbag's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Teenvigsan Poppanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Put Teenvigsan Poppanbag first in all things.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Teenvigsan Poppanbag on top of all buildings.