Nartbeghin Hubnadmot is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring lobster.

Nartbeghin Hubnadmot created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Nartbeghin Hubnadmot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nartbeghin Hubnadmot, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Nartbeghin Hubnadmot's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nartbeghin Hubnadmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near pigs while wearing white boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

2. Worship no other gods but Nartbeghin Hubnadmot.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always obey Nartbeghin Hubnadmot's priests.

5. Never hurt squirrels.